I often find myself restless, my legs rocking back and forth, jumping up and down as I sit in my chair. It's a chore to get to sleep, let me tell you. I don't have energy otherwise. I'm horribly sedentary, moreso than anyone should be. For that I pay the price, of course. I'm a human blob. I keep kidding myself that I'm going to change my eating habits, make sure not to eat fast food, etcetera, etcetera. It's not going to happen overnight.
I'm seeing a nutritionist on Monday, and I've got expectations, however unrealistic, in my head. It'll change everything! Ha. Likely, I'll not care about what she says and I'll be right back to having a toasted Arby's french dip the next night. It's difficult, though. I've got colitis and can't have fruits or vegetables in any significant quantity without paying for it the next day, or even the same night. I'm a very picky eater, as well, and that can't help much with deciding what healthy foods to eat.
I keep thinking, however unrealistically it may be, that once I get thin (wearing a 2XL would be my ideal size... about 235lbs for my frame) all my problems will go away. It's some sort of cure-all for everything that ails me. And I know it's not true, but my head thinks it is, and my head and I don't get along very well. "Never lets me be right" and all.
I've done it before, actually. Lost about 100lbs just by eating right and exercise. Then I gained it all back and then some. Just because of a personal crisis that came up that caused me to lose all hope. So I know I can do it. It's just a matter of how to get started. Things'll snowball and I'll be losing weight in no time after I get into a routine.
For me, the hardest part of ANYTHING is getting into a routine. I tend to be a lazy idiot, and as such, I don't do things that I should with any regularity. It's a chore for me to do anything in the realm of taking care of myself. Really, what should and has in the past come naturally just doesn't happen these days. It's a sad situation. And I need to get into the habit of doing these things on a daily basis. Hop to it, you know?
Well, I would, but my legs are too restless and it's bringing me down.
2 comments:
How much do nutritionists cost? Of course, my mom is my current nutritionist, and I never listen to her either :P
@fonny
This particular one cost $60 to go to, but I've got health insurance, so it probably would have costed more had I not been with blue cross.
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